What Could Have Been

Have you ever liked someone and then after a while thought.
‘no I’m not going to go for him/her’ and it’s not because you’re worried that they’ll reject you or don’t like you back, its simply because you don’t want your idea of and about that person to be ruined. You want to keep your perfect view and imagination of what they could be,

If not let me explain…220px-Heterosexual-hearts-symbol-3D.svg

A while back I started talking to someone and at first it was just about music, because he couldn’t download a Coldplay song and a few other songs so I said I could do it for him. Fast forwarding a little. We became friends. After a while we stopped talking (my phone broke as it so often did/does and we stopped talking in school) I on and off liked him for a bit, so naturally like every teenager on the planet I then fabricated a specific idea about the person by that I mean I thought he’d make the perfect boyfriend and that he was super nice blah blah blah you get the idea I hope.

Back to the current time now, for some reason I can’t actually remember why but I started liking him again about a month ago  but it wasn’t until today that I realised even if I could date him I wouldn’t want to because, my ‘picture perfect’ idea about him would change and he might not be the way I envisioned him to be. Therefore I realised that the best thing for me is to not do anything because that way im left with an untainted and idealised view of my last secondary school crush before I leave, rather than another memory of a boyfriend that went wrong. That might be a tiny bit of a pessimistic approach but my point is that sometimes not having the thing you think you want is actually better for you in the end. Odd that ….

See You Soon,





  1. For being 16, you have a very mature and practical way of thinking about relationships. I’m old enough to be your mom/grandmom and I find myself idealizing two men (friends from high school) who I love from afar but would never think of pursuing either romantically because I don’t want my image of them to be tarnished in any way to mar what I feel inside for them. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is what I call over thingking it. You may just have to kiss a few frogs before you get your prince charming so don’t let an idea of what you think is get in the way of what is. Another thing once you happen to find the right guy to date, all that thought process goes out the window so, there is probably a good reason as to why you’re not dating him so stick to your guts.


    1. Thank you thats a great way of seeing things and I really love your metaphor and the encouragement. I will go with my gut feeling and stick with what I know and believe thanks for the feedback 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I do this… but not for those reasons. Only because I am way too nervous to ever talk to them! And I have built them up way too high in my brain that I’m scared shitless to even approach the situation! So I definitely can relate!


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